As the optician says, "Better? Or worse?"

[allana]

We had our first antenatal class and out of approx. 36 people in the room, I was the only non-white. For the first time in years, I actually felt quite awkward as a result of that. I am no doubt paranoid, but people kept staring at me when I spoke up, so I stopped speaking up and looked at the floor instead. Apart from hospital-specific information it was next to useless and I really don't want to go back. How they expect people to make lasting friendships in such a huge group is beyond me, and I hate feeling forced to make friends 'which will last for the rest of your life.'

Bah, humbug, I say. I may call the NCT and pay for a course. The content can't be any worse, there'll be less people there, and I probably won't have to sit on a too-low, hard, plastic chair. Honestly, it was like a cross between the worst seminar ever (content) and primary school (comfort.)

Also.

Whilst I appreciate that I'm pregnant and possibly perceived as providing less interesting conversation than a half-rotten lump of pine--pine being the most boring wood, in my opinion--I'm still me. I can talk about non-baby things. So, if you're avoiding IM-ing me due to a fear that "Hello, how are you?" will be met by, "OMG, I have these terrible piles that I must tell you about in excruciating detail! And there are so many other horrible things going on that I'm dying to burden you with.... Oh, and shall I read my entire birth plan to you? We can talk about the best way to fish poo out of the birthing pool!" then worry ye not. Instead, I can happily talk about corruptible waiters, my attempts to track down a local supplier for the excellent organic lemonade we had in Devon, and just how much fun can be had in a four-poster bed (lots).

If, on the other hand, you don't want to talk to me at all, please do let me know. I can then have one good cry and go about my life without having to fret about whatever I've done or not done to deserve being ignored.

PS. I don't have piles.

PPS. Yes, I'm hormonal and irrational. I'm sure I'll look back upon this with oodles of embarrassment in a few years, but never having suffered from PMS, I have no fucking idea of how to cope with shitloads of hormonal upheaval. Chocolate does NOT work.

PPPS. I hesitate to say this, but I really don't like being called 'Mama Ang'.

Comments

[evaine.livejournal.com]

Eeep! I'm sorry! I just think of you as a mama, that's all. I won't any more. *hugs*

Forgive me? *huge puppy dog eyes*

And I can certainly vouch for the fact that you can definitely carry on non-baby type conversations!

And chocolate never worked for me either. I needed salt and lots of it - shit, still do! Ripple chips (crisps for you?) and onion dip. Best thing for MY hormones ever!

Oh, and the prenatal courses? Dave (Michael's dad) and I took them, never made any lasting friendships out of them either. And I think it's in the prenatal code that you have to sit on those awful plastic chairs. We had them too. ICK!

So like... am I in the doghouse or am I good with ya? *tilts head*

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

We're good *hugs*

I think I'm going to take a big cushion with me next time (if I do go back) and sit on the floor. It can hardly be less comfortable than the chairs.

I'm currently munching my way through a bag of salty/sweet/spicy/sour/MSG oriental crackers. I really want to try dipping them in ice-cream but I forgot to buy any :(

Surprisingly enough, I do feel a lot better for posting *hugs*

[kyra-belmont.livejournal.com]

*comforts*

*curses at the chairs for you*

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

[stonefinder.livejournal.com]

People are so very rude. And I would never presume to call you "Mama Ang" ;)

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

It makes me feel like a very uncreative voodoo priestess :P And yes, people can be very rude.

[silentinflames.livejournal.com]

They expect you to make life-long friends in a antenatal class? What should be so extraordinary about an antenatal class that you have to make life-long friends there? That's just ridiculous. I mean, all you have in common is that you're expecting a baby. Don't let other people's expectations bring you down. They don't have a say in anything.

I have no fucking idea of how to cope with shitloads of hormonal upheaval.

Ha! There is no way to deal with it. That's the sad truth. I'm glad you never had to deal with PMS. I'm also jealous. With me, it seems, the older I get the more upheaval every darn month. *sigh*

Now that I think of it, screaming might help. I need a soundproof room...

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

The very shrill woman leading (hah!) the course seemed to feel that this was where we would form the friendships which would sustain us for the rest of our lives. Perhaps the naturally gregarious and jolly people will, but I honestly doubt that anyone will. I'll be interested to see how many people turn up again on Tuesday, considering how useless it was.

So far I've been attempting to cry out all of my hormones. The third trimester is supposed to be a relatively calm time in terms of hormone levels but instead I'm a complete mess. Oh well. They'll go back to normal at some point, I suppose.

[hanks-lil-pit.livejournal.com]

Awwww! What's wrong with my Ang?

*stomps foot*

Hey. You know...when I was a kid and I'd come home with some trouble or another, my mother would always inquire as to the problem and offer, albeit jokingly, to dole out black eyes to any possible offenders.

So.

You want I should give someone a black eye?

*grins and rubs your feet*

The Hankster

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

You really don't want to go near my feet! They're sorely neglected now that I can't reach them properly :(

Still, it's fantastic to see you around again, even if it's because I'm being a misery. How goes the new job and the crazy schedule?

And thanks!

[jin-shei.livejournal.com]

Not avoiding you at all! I don't even have your IM :P

[kyra-belmont.livejournal.com]

You know, now tha tI think about it...

neither do I...

so, no avoiding here either! :)

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

Err, I assumed that people who didn't have my various/current IM details would skip on by this post :P

[feelforfaith.livejournal.com]

I didn't like my birth classes either. Probably the two most useful things I got out of them was that the pediatrician who came to talk to us during one class turned out to be from the practice in my neighborhood and when I was later choosing a pediatrician for Jake, I knew that I liked him so I went to him; and the other thing was that we had a tour of the labor and delivery unit (which I could have done on my own, but probably wouldn't have.)

I remember during class everybody was busy practicing breathing and David and I were cracking up into our sleeves. :)

~chases bad moods away~ Hugs.

PS. I know you can talk about writing porn, too :D. (Or should I not mention it now? lol)

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

Writing? I haven't written anything other than LJ posts in so long that I'm afraid I'll never be able to remember how :(

The only useful things from the class were the visiting times for the wards, knowing that I have to mention when I first contact the birth suite that I want a waterbirth, and discovering one new position for labour. Other than that, I didn't discover anything new.

[madandy.livejournal.com]

They made you feel bad because of your colour? BASTARDS.

Hun, I haven't been IMing because of the most insane schedule of my life. Must Try Harder.

*Hug*

(I know you can talk about non-baby stuff. You prove that to me on a daily basis. *Hugs again*)

PS - I do have piles. TMI, I know. But there you go. ;)

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

I know you're busy! You're doing two things at once, without the benefit of tentacles to make it easier.

[2lazy4linux.livejournal.com]

For the record (Hi Ladies!) I agree entirely. I have arranged to take time off work to attend these classes with Ang and this was absolutely appalling.

Not limiting the class sizes is a huge mistake, having no curriculum...huge mistake, covering labour (the scariest and most confusing bit) in first session...huge mistake, having a different midwife for each session...guess what? yep...this couldn't have been worse if they'd tried.

OK I'm a bloke (in case you didn't know) and so I want facts & figures. I don't want to be told "take her to hospital if she's having contractions that are coming quite often and last quite long" that's bollocks...I need to be told "if the contractions are less than X minutes apart and lasting XX seconds or more then do XXX".

I also noticed the mainly caucasian but being one meself I didn't get the vibe Ang did.

Now to embarass her in case anyone reads this. I hope as her online friends you all realise how much you mean to her. I can tell whether you guys are chatting to Ang or not by her mood without asking, she loves feeling part of a community and can never have too much of people just chatting and shooting the shit.

I think it's incredibly brave of her to come out and say she's feeling lonely etc and put herself out there. But then I already knew she was brave.

[evaine.livejournal.com]

Can I get a clone of you and import him to Canada?

I have often told Ang, and I'll say it here again. You are definitely a keeper!

*hugs The Dave*

[mayqueen517.livejournal.com]

*offers up hugs*

*and snack food of choice*

I don't think I've ever heard of people making friends in an antenatal class like they're encouraging...(of course, I'm only 19 and I don't know too terribly much...*shrugs*)

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

Oh, it happens, and people also have heightened expectations of making Life Friends after the publication of The Fat Ladies Club (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0141017015/202-8542249-1926237?v=glance&n=266239&s=gateway&v=glance), a book about five women who met at antenatal classes.

(Also, I suspect the structure and timing of antenatal/birthing classes differs between the UK and the US.)

[mayqueen517.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, I've heard of that. Nothing too good, but I have heard of it.

*nods* More than likely.