allana | Internet idiots galore

Perhaps I have some sort of residual bad mood left over from my TV Trauma, but after dealing with a bunch of email and comments for my food blog I am in a foul mood and need a quick rant....

Save me from prissy little bitches who complain about the amount of sugar in a recipe for very large chocolate chip cookies. They're supposed to be sweet! Do you have no gumption to cut the sugar a little? Make a quarter batch? No? You're not intelligent enough to live. Please shuffle off your mortal coil. Everyone I've served these cookies to has loved them. They've come back for more, asked for the recipe, begged me to make another batch. You, my dear, are a pain in the fucking ass. And as for "bad for my teeth"? Here's a toothbrush. Stick it up your ass. They're cookies. Since when were cookies good for one's teeth?

And people who substitute almost everything in a recipe and then complain that it took way longer than the stated time to cook? Fuck off, too. And don't ask me if I've made a mistake, either. You fucked up, I did NOT.

And finally, stop emailing me and asking me for recipe conversions. Sometime I'll provide them, sometimes not. It's my fucking blog, my hobby, I'm not your slave. Get a set of scales and move into the 21st century. They sell them at Wal*mart quite cheaply, I believe. The universe will not stop, gasp in horror and point at you if you weigh your ingredients rather than slopping them inaccurately into a measuring cup.

An aside: no one try and tell me that cooking by cups is easier. In baking you need accuracy and I will laugh my ass off at any email that asks for US conversions as they "understand that in baking you have to be precise." Mockidy-mock-mock.

Oh, and I don't do requests, either. Your email just got filed into the bin. I cook what I like, when I like, and mails asking me to do an photo-essay on English Muffins--which I loathe--just irritate me.

*pants* And why on earth would you ask a complete stranger to call you up and talk you through setting up your own blog? I don't see any mention of money, here. Do you have any concept of how long it takes to write decent code, get a stylesheet working, and so forth? The last time I updated my blog design it took me a week (on and off.) Still, for £2k? I'd do it. Come back bearing a bankers draft and I'll be happy to oblige.

There are times when I wonder why I bother. I have been blogging again--after a considerable break--for two days and already the stupid is rolling in again.

Well, I don't know about you lot, but I feel tons better now. I think I'll go and marinate some chicken.