Beauteous orbs.

[allana]

I don't care how camp, flowery or foppish you perceive your character (RP or FP) to be... but there's no way in heaven or hell, that he's going to sit there--with a throbbing erection--and think to himself: "crystalline blue eyes."

Who the fuck thinks like that? A straw poll, conducted in our household and with a few people I caught online, indicates that no sane person thinks like that. Even when they're not horny. And not even when in the first flushes of love.

So, why do writers persist in fixating upon eyes and attaching ludicrous adjectives to them? Sure, they can be pretty at times, but not to the point of florid descriptions. I'm quite bemused by this. I was even more bemused to move on to the next paragraph and find that the other viewpoint character--cunningly indicated by name--was also contemplating eyes: "those impossibly green, impossibly gorgeous eyes". How often do men really notice eyes, anyway? I can't remember many men gazing soulfully into my eyes, or even vice versa....

This rant brought to you by a once passable story, now sadly plummeting into Hades, and Ang's meltingly-deep, chocolate-brown orbs of love. I leave it to you, dear reader, to decide which orbs I am referring to.

Comments

[stonefinder.livejournal.com]

Purple prose is the bane of serious literature everywhere. However, it is good for a laugh.

In another words, preach on, sister, preach on!

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

Aha! That was the phrase I was reaching for! Thanks, Rhi.

The sad thing was that I was really quite into the chapter, until I hit "crystalline blue eyes". Now all I can think of are multi-faceted eyes, glinting with desire. I need to scrub my brain clean.

On the plus side, it's driven away all the crazy thoughts I was having about doing a 100-story challenge alongside NaNoWriMo....

[feelforfaith.livejournal.com]

So, why do writers persist in fixating upon eyes and attaching ludicrous adjectives to them?

Oooh... this reminded me of a little "eye" project I did a while ago. Darn, if only I can find it now.

[evaine.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Sure it has...

And gee... it would have been nice to indicate that you were NOT editing for ME at the time, wouldn't it have???? *wink* But then, I write about sparkling cerulean orbs and verdant depths... don't I? So it obviously wasn't me. *grin*

ROTFLMAO!!!!

[screwthedaisies.livejournal.com]

Men notice eyes when you look up at them whilst giving them a blowjob, but it sure ain't along the "wow, that's some pair of crystalline orbs!" variety. It's more like "hngmnahhhhh".

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

I didn't even notice that the eye colours matched James and Lars :P If it was you, we wouldn't be having this conversation!! Besides, when has your work been anything approaching merely passable??

[evaine.livejournal.com]

*looks at the scene with Lars and Jay in the hotel room* Well....

[glam-ang.livejournal.com]

You're that far along? Shit, I need to pull my finger out and get writing!!

[evaine.livejournal.com]

Well, let's not get too excited. You read the opening scene. There was a scene at supper and they ended up back in the hotel room. They've smoked a joint and had beer and now I'm waiting for Mr. Ulrich to do what he's supposed to be doing. He's being coy with me. *sigh* I wanna bite him.

[bella-cheval.livejournal.com]

Huh. Hubby says that eyes are the first thing he looks at.

But who knows what men really think?

[sophia-lde.livejournal.com]

And you believe that? ;)

[nikki-tikki.livejournal.com]

Guilty, guilty, guilty. I do write men concentrating on eyes. Yes, during sex. Damn, I knew I was bad.

The thing is, sometimes eyes CAN be very captivating. Sexy, even. It's a feeling that's a little mystical, and as I discussed girls with other men (tomboy here...), I know they do feel this way at times, too (then again... maybe Russian men are different?). But I see your point. Usually eyes are about the third or fourth thing on a man's to-look-at list - when checking out, of course, not fucking. lol

But I can say that I never once wrote 'crystalline' or 'orbs'. Even separately... and definitely never together. :D

[bella-cheval.livejournal.com]

Weeeeellll...kinda. Considering I'm so short, he'd prolly be looking @ the top of my head!

He's actually an eye and boob guy. I'm the eyes and accent type myself :)